Sunday, 17 August 2008


Remember a while back when I told you someone wanted to publish some drawings I'd done? In Grasslimb, the international journal of art and literature? You don't? Then I have nothing to say to you. Be off with you! I've no time for fair weather friends. But if you do, they've now got me listed on their site as appearing in their forthcoming issue. There I am, NotKeith, among all the other normal names of people who don't use ludicrous pseudonyms. Makes me sound a little mysterious, like in the A Team titles when Mr T's name came up. It's not even a proper name! You must exist on a slightly more rarefied celebrity plane than the your fellow actors! Once again, I am exactly like a child on Christmas Eve, just before he wets himself and the shame and self-loathing cast a shadow over the holiday season for ever more.

And now, like the cheap whore I am, I must exhort you all to point your browser to Grasslimb's site and order, or pre-order, the magazine. I don't even know if you can pre-order. I just want you to go there and look at my name! Go look!


La BĂȘte said...

Hey, congratulations to you. And let's not forget, you owe it all to me.

Valerie said...

By extension, he owes it to Tim Footman, too, because he's the one who directed me to your blog, l.b...

I'll set up pre-order links for Grasslimb v6n2, in which NotKeith's fine artwork will be found. We're running a little late, as usual for our summer edition, but it'll be out in a couple of weeks.

Anonymous said...

Congrats, again! I went to the site... and let's just say that it's a good possibility that I'd be willing to part with the very reasonable sum that they are asking for an issue.

Also, I realized that I've been typing your ludicrous pseudonym incorrectly. I've been typing it as 'Not Keith', when it's clearly shown to be one word 'NotKeith', on the Grasslimb site. Oops, sorry! Due to your new celebrity status, I will make sure to get it right from now on.

Mrs. Hall said...


Not Keith said...

Betty: Thanks. And: I know. You are the wind beneath my wings. Beneath my wings.

Valerie: Hello again! Thanks enormously for publishing my stuff - it means a hell of a lot to me. Though you should also take some of the blame for me boring people to death telling them about it.

selena: just the one issue? In the future, when I'm being discussed by Tom Paulin, Germaine Greer, and Paul Morley on Newsnight Review, and you turn to your companion and say, "I was there at the start. Bought his first published stuff dontchaknow," and you go to show it to your companion and you realise you lost it and don't have a spare, where will you be then? If Grasslimb's circulation isn't up there with Rolling Stone this month then I have failed.

Mrs Hall: Thank you very much. My next picture is dedicated to you.

Mrs. Hall said...

I am a little scared about this.

My hope is that your next picture is created with the intention of achieving greater self-wareness through your chosen medium.

I truly wish you the best.


Mrs. Hall

Anonymous said...

Rolling Stone...hmmm, in order for that to happen, I do believe you have to have a naked musician on the cover. Is Grasslimb going to have a naked musician on it's cover?

And I guess I will just have to buy a diaster & burgle proof safe to keep my one owned issue of Grasslimb in, that way I never find myself in the aweful scenario you've presented.

Ani Smith said...

First a girlfriend, now forthcoming... I am going to have to stop looking at your blog if all this happiness continues. ;)

Non Je Ne Regrette Rien said...

I went. I saw. I was duly impressed, NotKeith big as day it was.

Well done!