Wednesday, 23 July 2008

Urethra Franklin

I can now reliably inform anyone who's interested that having your urethra swabbed is the fetish of tomorrow. All tomorrow's sex parties are going to be all about the swabbing.

All clear. Thank fuck.

Here's a celebratory pic. Which could have also been a commiseratory (is that even a word?) pic.

I make that Pimms o'fucking clock.


Sunday, 20 July 2008

Creepy Man With Creepy Hand

Back to biro again because I'm an utter coward.


Saturday, 12 July 2008

Disappointed Robots

Or disappointing robots? Can't decide whether this one is a turd or not.

The case for:
Girl robot's arm too fucking long
What was an ok drawing ruined by colouring it in. I can't fucking paint. It looks like I coloured in a picture from the Colouring Book of Robot Pictures With an Impotence Subtext.

The case against:
There's an ok drawing in there somewhere, which reminds me of the boy who wanted to be a 2000AD comic artist. Pissed off with that forearm, though.

Turd or triumph? YOU DECIDE.


Thursday, 10 July 2008

Speed Dating, Part III... Two heads Are Better Than One

Stan is writing a story about a baby with two heads. Why? Fuck knows, but it's shaping up nicely and I fancy myself as the illustrator. This is a merely a preliminary sketch however..


Speed dating, Part II... The Girl With The Pearl Necklace Earrings

You might notice a bit of mirroring here between mine and Stan's site. Well it's the same way that when women live together they start to bleed together. We live together and we're starting to blog together. My posts are mirroring his. but where his are massive and wordy, mine are tiny and much more visual. You can read about the Girl With The Pearl Necklace Earrings here. And here she is here in the flesh, the nutter.......


Speed Dating, Part I.... Stan, Stan, the Elephant Man

Stan bought me a notebook last week, a dinky little Moleskine. He's a sweetie sometimes. A bona fide sweetie. And so i thought I'd honour him. This is a drawing of him at the speed dating even we went to last thursday. He's written about it here by the way if you want. 
Stan is feeling a bit on the lusty side recently and frequently complains that his balls are like space hoppers. Hence this.


Yeah whatever. I'm just fucking about here. 

Monday, 7 July 2008

Next stop the Saatchis

I still can't quite believe it, but someone wants to publish some of my drawings. I don't know whether they'll still want to after the Turd post, but at the time of writing they still do. I must confess to not being familiar with Grasslimb, but this is something I intend to correct soon. I also expect anyone reading this to buy 400 copies without hesitation. I should be in the August issue. This is it. It's starting. When I'm attending gallery openings with some chesty porn strumpet on my arm, you can tell allyour friends that you were into my stuff before anyone else was.

I'm like a kid on Christmas Eve. Stan is being passive-aggressive "really happy for me". Don't worry Stan. I won't forget you. I'll text you once in a while from Jamaica.

Saturday, 5 July 2008


I'm really not good at painting and I wasn't going to post this, but Stan says I should because otherwise I'll never post anything. He may have a point. Danny Gregory posts his turds too, so I guess it's okay. It was meant to be an eyeball with tentacles that had stolen someone's face, and I used gouache, watercolours and ink and it turned out shit. I was thinking of polishing it up a bit, but I can't be arsed.