Sunday, 31 August 2008

Cold Sore

Don't say it. I know. The fucking hands have got fucking jaundice.

In my defence (I seem to say that a lot), I was rushing a bit, since Tilly and I are off up the Lakes for a few days. Personally, I can't see why we don't fuck off somewhere warm for a week, but that's me being selfish, apparently.

Whatever. If we survive the thousand-hour drive up there without killing each other, there's the remote possibility that we might enjoy ourselves. We could maybe do a Withnail and I-inspired visit to Penrith. At least we're not camping, because that would be truly shit.

Anyway, no pics for a while. I'm hoping to get a bit of drawing done while we're there, so I should have something to post when we get back.

Wish us luck. We may need it.


Tuesday, 26 August 2008

Robert Crumb Week

This week I have been trying to be Robert Crumb, after someone (Selena) mentioned him in the comments.

Tilly has a mullet
Tilly has just had her hair done. I could buy a second-hand car for the same money. It looks a bit like a mullet. Tilly is less than grateful for my helpful observation.


Random cartoon bloke
Drawn with new fountain pen.


Tentacle monster's show of affection mistaken for attack


Tilly and me
Looking almost entirely unlike either of us, but very loosely based on a picture taken at The Worst Barbecue Ever. Tilly doesn't dress like a hooker, either. Outdoors, anyway.


Sunday, 17 August 2008


Remember a while back when I told you someone wanted to publish some drawings I'd done? In Grasslimb, the international journal of art and literature? You don't? Then I have nothing to say to you. Be off with you! I've no time for fair weather friends. But if you do, they've now got me listed on their site as appearing in their forthcoming issue. There I am, NotKeith, among all the other normal names of people who don't use ludicrous pseudonyms. Makes me sound a little mysterious, like in the A Team titles when Mr T's name came up. It's not even a proper name! You must exist on a slightly more rarefied celebrity plane than the your fellow actors! Once again, I am exactly like a child on Christmas Eve, just before he wets himself and the shame and self-loathing cast a shadow over the holiday season for ever more.

And now, like the cheap whore I am, I must exhort you all to point your browser to Grasslimb's site and order, or pre-order, the magazine. I don't even know if you can pre-order. I just want you to go there and look at my name! Go look!

Thursday, 14 August 2008


Some sketches and a bit of a doodle. I'm using my little Moleskine since I'm away from home a lot these days (and will now be away even more) and haven't got much drawing stuff with me. I should actually be thanking Stan rather than cursing him - the fuck - plus he's lost some really precious stuff and I've lost nothing much at all. And gained an interesting new smell. I feel like a bit of a heel leaving him alone in the stench, but by choosing to view the entire debacle as a modern morality fable about the ecological time-bomb our carrier-bag culture is creating, I can kind of nod and sigh in a slightly superior way.

Five-minute hand sketch, and a picture that looks almost, but not entirely, unlike Tilly. She's lying on the sofa. I say lying when what I really mean is a little-understood variant of the standard lie whereupon the reclining subject does not remain in the same position for more than eight seconds. For fuck's sake.

We had a bit of a row after that.

Then there's a proper portrait of Stan, who for the next few weeks will not be able to leave the house for fear of people asking him for his autograph in the street.

I've had some thoughts about this here blog. It was born under some particularly unpleasant circumstances, and I've kind of moved on a bit from where I was back then. It's got a bit melodramatic, quite frankly, and I fancy a bit of a change. More words maybe, since some of those lovely souls who take time to comment (and I'm looking mostly at you Selena), are encouraging me to post more, and maybe a few more of the pics that wouldn't normally make the cut. A slightly higher turd-to-triumph ratio.

Anyway, more details to follow. I hope you like the pics.




Sunday, 10 August 2008


Firstly, let me apologise for the lack of action round these parts of late. Things have been a bit intense, to say the least. I promise to try harder in future. Maybe not as hard as scatman Stan, who seems to be able to bang out posts as fast as he soils socks, but definitely harder.

Anyway, the reason things are intense is Tilly (which is as good a name as any). Ever fallen in love with somebody your flatmate thinks you shouldn't have fallen in love with? Love might be too strong a word, though maybe I'm just being cautious.

It's just that, after all the shit I've been through this past year, she's arrived on the scene and all the scary stuff that leaps out at me in the middle of a dope-induced paranoia attack - wheelchairs, life support machines, a load of indifferent, coke-snorting fuckstains at my funeral - suddenly doesn't seem so bad. Life feels like it's being lived rather than waited out right now. Life is crack.

Anyway, meet Tilly:


Friday, 1 August 2008

Bring out the Branson

You've probably already seen it, since it's been on Betty's blog for a while, but I'm going to post it anyway. This is in no way due to me having nothing else to post. At all.